Friday, January 18, 2013

Taleem ne jin ka kuch nahi bigara

The practice of killing daughters at birth has been long since banished. However, it is believed that there are more ways of killing people than just one. Ways which do not involve stopping a person’s heart from pumping blood but are responsible for much greater damage. Methods which adhere to killing someone’s ambition, someone’s spirit, devoiding a person of self confidence, driving someone to a point where they may start to doubt themselves, forcing someone to believe they are good for nothing, snatching away the right to make decisions, or simply not allowing them to do something they very well deserve to do.

If you have the guts to categorize such things as killing then beware that you live in a world where either you are at the receiving end of the these day-to-day activities or you are at the famous giving end.

This is what happens every day in this male-dominated world. This is what the ladies are required to go through every day if they are to survive. Or else they can simply accept the supposed weakness that is attributed to them more often than not.

You would think that all those years of education may have taught people to refrain from discrimination, deeming it an unjustifiable trait. But it’s a shame to know that this aspect of education was wasted on them.

Females are still considered to be weak creatures, owners of small minds. One look at them and judgments are made just like that. Embellished and you are too “out” to have any brains. If you choose to present yourselves otherwise then you are too conservative.

Fighting the discrimination war for as long as I can remember, I am so much consumed with anger that there is a high chance of this frustration spilling over the edges and poisoning everything it touches. And this is true for all females.

Luckily enough, I have been raised by a father who held the education of his children; daughters and son alike; of utmost importance. But, with the rest of the world, I am surprised that I had to prove that I too have some brains, some skills, some talent.

And this is the story of every other girl. We have to work harder to prove our worth. In a job, we strive to work, going out of our way to accomplish tasks assigned to us so that no one gets the chance to say that females are no good.

Of course, there are some limitations. Most of the ladies refrain from late sittings. Females may not be allowed by their families to travel abroad. But don’t the guys have some sort of limitations as well? Or are they all super human beings.

I beg to differ. In my experience I have seen the female staff reach office even on the worst of days, whereas, the male staff deemed it unsafe to leave the premises of their homes.
Females, on the other hand, go out of their way to make up for these limitations. They come on time and mostly stay glued to their desks, completing their work on time.

And it’s not as simple to go work in an office as you may think. Standing on a bus stop more than one pair of eyes may stare at you. Walking on your way back home and you’ll get to hear some colorful, obscene comments.

In spite of all of this your colleagues consider it their right to judge you. And this judgment, though I have been a target, is not something I feel comfortable mentioning.

Spending four years in academics and almost 5 years in professional environment I have learnt that I am not supposed to be a programmer, let alone be good at it. I am not allowed to participate in a programming competition.  I am not allowed to talk or laugh out loud because that is not the trait of a “good”, “nice” girl.

I didn’t know that this is still a world where I will have to fight to be allowed to go for a badminton championship. Where my team leads will have to fight for my promotion, not because my performance is below the scale but because I am a girl and I am supposed to get married soon. Where I may not be given responsibilities because I MAY get married and I MAY resign as a consequence (and that is a big MAY). Where if I do get entrusted with some kind of responsibility it’s because no one else is left to shoulder it.
Where a female, if she ever gets a chance to lead a team, is ridiculed and criticized more than anyone else. Where your reserved nature may not be taken as your choice but  lack of guts to talk face to face with the opposite gender. And if you do talk then you are too bold, too cheap and may be given the dazzling tile of ‘chipkoo’.

Where the opportunities I clearly deserve are handed over to male colleagues, because, well, because it suits them better. And while we are on the subject; cricket suits them better. All events are tailored so that they suit the not-so-‘fair’ sex. While international travelling is considered sinful for the ladies, attending a company sponsored dinner conveniently arranged far away from most of the employee’s homes is mandatory. Where your resignation is not as important as you-know-who’s because you weren’t doing anything worthwhile anyways. Where an already planned event may not actually happen because it could not have been carried out by a gentleman for the ladies, which makes me wonder if we normally sit with our male colleagues with thick layers of curtains separating the two genders.

Where a girl’s CV is considered only as an afterthought, or maybe to fit the slogan “equal opportunity employer”.

Where you can work as hard as you can, and still be considered incompetent.

So yes, I give up.

I have lost all will to go on.

I am sick and tired of this all.

I have lost the spirit to prove myself anymore.

I admit, I have lost, and they have won.

Because there is nothing I can do about them besides stating:

Taleem ne in ka kuch nahi biagara


  1. It's just AMAAZING!! I couldn't have spent my time better, MashaAllah bina baji you so inspire me! :)

  2. Hmm....nicely written.I would like to put forward my thoughts regarding the staring problem in our society which you have mentioned in your blog.I think it is quite high time that our female population get ou of hypocricy and double standards.Females in general post their pics on facebook and make a 100 plus pics based albums.These albums contain pics in various poses of theirs.These "educated" females have tons of male friends in their facebook profile and these men give comments and "like" their pics.Females become so happy and can't contain their excitement and respond by thanking the males for their appreciation.Now you tell me,isn't it a height of hypocricy that you can't stand men staring and oggling at you for few minutes on bus stops bur can stand men on facebook who have ample time to see your poses on fb for eternity ? Men are visual creatures and women are emotional creatures.There is no hard science in that.I am in no way justifying men for their staring acts but merely just shedding light on the hypocricy and double standards thar our female kind show sometimes.It is time that you stop blaming men.Not all men are alike!

  3. @fruity pie..

    Agreed that women are hypocrites. All human beings are I guess.

    But as you said Not all men are alike. Please know that neither are all women alike.